Diabetics Walk & Rants

1:31 AM

Before my usual ranting, I shall start of with the event that I went to~
*drumroll please*
It was a really different experience I have to say. 
With the 3 hours of sleep I had and the fact that I had to wake at 6am made it quite challenging.
Ended up being slightly late but since I'm just a volunteer and no longer a GB girl.. YAY to no scolding.
Turned up in GB polo which has been left untouched in my cupboard for more than a year, ohgod.

Was in Joy's group and our role was to be motivators.
I was holding on to this really huge board that said: "Keep Calm and Walk On"
Along with this cheer that most people chose to ignore.
Like come on! I didn't wake up this early with this little sleep to get ignored...
Some of the participants were really enthu ttm. They so made my day!
It all ended at around 11am before we all headed down half the whole walk to the ending point.
For the sake of the goodie bag. Sigh Pie.
The goodie bag had RICE!! 2KG OF RICE!!
DADDY 我可以养家了!! haha

After the waiting for their debrief, reflection writing, going the wrong way and all the etc.
I really started to get a bit cranky with that lack of sleep and hungry tummy. 
BUT... (yes another but)
I really thank Benji/Adeline for the lunch at Kraze Burgers. 
Lunch was just oh so good! The portion was huge and really filling and it was sooo tasty! *yummy*
After lunch they continued to have their debrief for the excos of GB 69th Coy.
So while waiting, I dozed off there and then. (can't believe I dozed off o.o)

After all that, we had to rush down to TCT due to time constrains. 
Thank God for taxis! and for mel poh who paid for it ^^



Yet again all the bullshit happened to me, all at the same time, well more or less.
Business was picking up and i was so glad i swear, and then shit happened. 
Well done. I can't even accept the fact of what happened.
Having to clarify myself again and again, re-gain everything I already had, and worst of all having to beg soo many people for favours but no one gave a shit bout me. 
Yes, this is the fucking cruel world we live in where no one is willing to help anyone else.
When all was at what i thought was bad enough..
NO, more shit ass stuff has to surface.
Grandma was admitted into hospital, and to think Granddad was barely discharged for a week.
But then again, this was not the worst!
Family dinner supposedly, but it felt so different with Grandma not being there with us ):
Granddad barely ate anything and halfway through our meal,
he touched on the topic which we all didn't want to. Death.
He said that he knew he didn't have much time left so he's gonna "jiao dai" all the things and stuff.
Saying how he wanted his funeral and all to be. 
That point of time, the dinner table just became so quiet and everyone couldn't even eat anymore.
Some of them even dropped tears. 
I know myself that life and death is part and parcel of life, but having to think about your love one getting ready to leave you is just..
I'm not ready for this, he's 92 but i don't want it to happen!
I can't imagine life without him even though i can barely communicate properly with him.
I can't help but just hold everything in until i'm alone in my room before crying to myself.
This state of clueless-ness, desperateness, helplessness. 
I just feel so damn pathetic. 
I think that no one understands and i really mean NO ONE!
Really appreciate those words of comfort from some of you. 
Some comments, i think i rather not see them. No offence but i think whatever you are going through is different from what i am. I have no idea what you're going through but seriously?!
I thought of you as a close friend and when all i need is some words of comfort but that's all you can tell me?
that i'm not the only one? 
oh forget it, things now are just so different. you don't need me anymore anyway, i guess that's why we ended up drifting away from one another. To a point that i don't think I understand you anymore. I don't seem to recognise you as the close friend that i used to have.  
Shall just end my rant here. 
I don't see much point in continuing anyway.

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