thoughts

8:22 PM

i look like a glutton here.. eateateat. okay thats not the main point.

second post of the day. cause of some random thought thats passing through my head
okays,
i keep thinking bout the testimony that was shared yesterday
especially bobby's testimony. i teared abit, hehs :\
the 3 testimonies; they were lost but now they were found.
and i was thinking when would it be my turn?
okay, in a way God found me back.
after almost 3 years of running away from church and cell, doing quite abit of stupid things
im finally back to church, a fire for God bigger than before.
but what about forgiveness?
no matter how i try to see it in a positive manner,
no wait, there's NO WAY this could even be seen from a positive point of view.
i cant bring myself to forgive them and love them like how i did many years back
its something pretty much impossible to do
everytime i see or hear certain things im full of envy and i feel like asking God "why me?!"
although i know that this turning for the better is close to impossible so i really pray that one day i would be able to accept totally, forgive and love again.

on a side note: i doubt most wont understand this post (;

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